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Tuesday, 22 May 2012

True Friend will go to the ends of the earth to find the things you need, they are the people that will be there for you no matter what and help you the best they can in time of need.

I've found out recently who my true friends are :)

Well since my last post Me and my Boyfriend have split up, he decided we needed to go on a break but I don't believe in them, the break was tearing me apart and I couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, therefore I told him that we are either together or we're not...he chose to break up with me. On receiving the text to say it was over my two house-mates kicked into action grabbing the wine and my dinner before sitting with me in my room while at first I cried but then once the guys had gone to the lads house and the house was free we moved from my room to the living room and danced the night away with multiple bottles of wine before dragging down mattresses and sleeping in the living room with all my house-mates the lads and all. 

The fact that in this situation my house-mates dropped everything to make sure I was alright and to keep me from curling up in a ball of tears just showed me how much they truly care! I knew before that I could go to them about anything and they would assist the best they could but just this night made me sit back and look at what truly matters in life...the ones who are around through thick and thin.

I've also had a huge realisation this week in the fact that I haven't laid around being miserable, in all honesty I've been too busy to, but I have thought about this a lot- I've just come out of a two year relationship so why am I not extremely upset? 

The only conclusion I can come to is that it was over before it ended...looking back on the last few months he was distant, inattentive, rarely heard from him and when I text him in the middle of a mental break down asking to Skype as all I needed was someone to tell me everything was going to be okay and I could get through this last bit..he turned me away, saying he was too busy. I brushed these occasions off and put it down to him being stressed from exams, but in all honesty that was really no excuse for someone your meant to care a lot about. I also realised that more often than not I would find myself upset as he would not contact me and I had to start doing all the floor work, if I didn't text him first in a day I wouldn't hear from him and as our relationship relied on contact it was starting to flake at the seams.

But don't get me wrong I am upset at losing him as he was not just my Boyfriend but my Best Friend, my rock as they say, but I'm more angry at him for not fighting for what we had and just finding it acceptable to brush me away..and no I haven't heard from him since. But after his exams are finished I want to contact him to see if he's alright and be civil as I don't want to lose the friendship I had with him before our relationship.

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining...

This week hasn't been all bad to be honest... a guy that I've been close friends with for two years now on my course has been here for me and has been the sweetest person ever to me! He's sat there and listened while I've ranted my heart out and genuinely listened to every word I've said and responded with what he honestly thinks. This guy has also been there for me all hours of the day including three o'clock in the morning when I can't sleep he'll come on Skype to me and make sure I'm alright. He also respects that I've just come out of a relationship and despite telling me how much I mean to him has happily taken the seat of being there for me until my feet are firmly back on the ground-he's the true definition of a rock! We'll see what the future holds :)

For now I just want the people who have been there for me during this time to know that I really appreciate them being here and I hope I can do the same for them in the future, and as I sad before it's okay not to be okay as there will always be someone to pick you up and put you back on your feet :)

Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours, to see, Que Sera, Sera, What will be, will be.

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