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Sunday, 6 May 2012

Well this is my first ever blog so here goes nothing :) 

I thought I'd start with a little bit about me and why I'm writing this blog. I'm currently 19 and studying History and American Studies in Canterbury living away from home-Ah scary! After University I want to eventually go on to do my PGCE in Primary Education and start my dream job working with children, and possible helping and supporting disabled children in some way. But to get to that dream job I've gotta get over this stage of my life first.  

My family and friends mean everything to me, and I can say that moving away from home just under 2 years ago now was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I miss my mum and dad even though through my school years looking back I argued with them and tried to fight against them, especially my dad about school work, going out, boys, independence...standard teenage stuff but it got to the point where all I wanted was someone to say 'well done I'm proud of you' instead of my dads response of well you could have done better in that despite getting a high B in my other subjects. However, it wasn't always like that there were times when I could see that my mum and dad really did care and wanted me to do well and have always tried to support me in what ever I wanted to do. Which is why now at university I surprisingly find myself massively missing my parents, and frequently getting very homesick. 

As for my friends both back at home, although many I have lost contact with minus a special few, and here in Canterbury, my new group of friends who are more like a family to me, they should know that I'll always be here no matter what, even if you just want to rant at someone I'm happy to sit there and listen and offer the advice needed, although I do warn you I say it how I see it. My friends at uni are formed of a large group which has been separated into three houses this year across Canterbury, although next year we will all be living down the same road again which I can't wait for. We are formed of a variety of different personalities from the loud and lively to the calm but bubbly, but we all some how click and when all together have the best of times and in all honesty I don't think I could have survived uni so far without them.

I have a boyfriend who is my rock he drives me mad and I miss him more than anything in the world  but I also love him more than anything as well. At the start of our 2 year relationship he moved from Essex, where we met, all the way across the country to Devon, some people have called me crazy for sticking to it and at the start I was told it will never last but I think as it is coming up to our 2 year anniversary you can say we have successfully proved those people wrong! I'm not saying there hasn't been times where I sit back and think what am I doing to myself but then I'll get a text from him or I'll see a picture of him and I get that fuzzy feeling all over again and realise..yeah that's why I'm doing this...Love. 

Yes yes I know mussy bit over and this is where I come on to explaining why I have decided to write a blog.

I used to think I was strong and could tackle any problem head on with confidence and a smile on my face, however, since I came to University I have found my confidence has disolved and I am left with what can only be described as a mess. I have exams coming up at the middle of this week and have found after the last few months of revision to what can only be described by a normal person as being well prepared, why do I find myself not making it through a day without breaking down in a ball of tears and stress? The answer I have not yet to find but I have decided to instead of breaking down into this ball of tears to vent my problem in the form of this in hope of realising that nothing is that bad and I can do it.

But do not fear I do not plan to spend all my time ranting through this blog I also hope to use it to write about and remember funny times, events, new interests and giving a little insight into my life which at the moment seems to be full of drama! 

Now I feel I have bored you enough with this first blog so therefore will leave you with this...remember when you are trying to stay strong but can feel yourself coming to breaking point that its okay not to be okay and that no matter what there is always someone to make you smile again :) 

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