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Friday, 25 January 2013

2013 Started with a Bang!

Well it's coming to the end of January now and wow this month has gone fast! It only seems like yesterday I was counting down to the beginning of 2013 and now a month of it has gone already and I'm not gonna lie it hasn't been the best of months for me.

As I said in my previous post its coming to the end of uni for me one semester down one and half to go :/ my initial plan was to do a PGCE in Primary teaching. Teaching has been my life plan and dream since I was 6 years old. I would always be a teacher when we did childs play favourite one to act being Miss Honey from Matilda. Now seeming as I have worked with children since I was 13 in multiple different environments including classroom as of recent I was quietly confident that I would atleast get an interview for it however after months of waiting I received an email to say I had been unsuccessful in all my options due to lack of experience......I felt sick and numb until my housemate came into the computer suite I was in and asked what was up....that was it I was in tears. In those few minutes my whole life had come crashing down on top of me and suddenly I was lost with no plan and no real path. The worst bit was trying to sit through my next 2 hour lecture without thinking about it or breaking down and phoning my mum trying to stay strong only to break down and worry her. (This was all two weeks ago)

That week was the worst week of my uni life so far...I blocked the world out and went into this emotionally numb state when alone i cried myself hoarse and I mean really badly hoarse to the point that I couldn't form words without croaking and eventually lost my voice. My Boyfriend was really good through the whole situation and tried to help me carry on but I felt awful as I tried so hard to congratulate him on his interview but everytime I did my own reality came crashing down to face me. In my eyes during that week my whole dream had been crushed.

But now I see that there are more options and routes into teaching than just PGCE. I have started looking and applying to various places back home (Essex) and things are looking brighter but in all honesty not the start to 2013 I wanted.

I think the best advice I got from one of my favourite lectures..I know she will always be there for that  'I am only 20, take a break and go out and be Sophia before you come back and start your life.' So that's it when at first you don't succeed take a break be yourself for a bit and then try and try again!

Good Luck to all those out there who got an interview for there PGCE and I hope you get what you want! 

But at the end of the day folks When Life Gives You Lemons... you know what to do ;)